"No" may be a tiny, two-letter word, but it can be your secret weapon. And you can say it. Here are some ways you can say "no" without feeling guilty about it:
Sorry, I’m taking a break.
The number one reason why you should say, "no" occasionally is simply that you deserve a break. You are chef, chauffeur, dish washer, and more. You job never ends on any given day of the week. You deserve a break. If you feel bad for saying "no", say, "Sorry, I’m taking a break".
My schedule is full.
We tend to jam-pack our schedule full of activities, leaving time for nothing. Cut back on your kids activities. Start a car pool and share driving responsibilities. Do whatever you can to free up some time in your schedule.
I don’t have time.
You’re headed out the door, rushing to the next appointment when the telephone rings. What do you do? Do you come to a screeching halt and answer the phone? Let’s say you do, and it’s a family member, calling to dump their latest woes on you. Do you stand, tapping your foot impatiently while you roll your eyes and listen to the sob story? This is a typical scene for many moms.
I have another commitment that day.
Say it and mean it. Regularly schedule in time with your family or time alone and if someone ask for your help during that time look in your planner and tell them you have another commitment.
Instead of rushing to be everything to everyone, stop. Ask yourself if you truly have time for whatever comes up. If not, say no by walking away, turning off the ringer on the phone, or not answering the knock at your door.
Always remember that you are a mom—not a super hero. When you have to say no, people will understand; if they don’t at first, they will get used to it eventually.
Editor's note: Still having trouble putting your foot down? Sometimes, we just need some extra guidance, a listening ear or a gentle and loving kick in the butt. You might want to give Aurelia Williams's free coaching session (affiliate) a go. She's a life coach and mom of 3 who has adult, teen and school age children so she definitely knows what she's talking about.
You are right on about drawing the line with the family member drama. I did that with my bipolar sister (who swears up and down she is not bipolar.) The constant drama about everything was starting to drag me down with her. Since I drew the line, I've felt a ton better. Everyone should know when to say "no" without feeling guilty!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice, I tend to be the Superhero type and have to learn to step and say NO.
ReplyDeleteSO TRUE, I have just stepped back and thinking about myself for a change and it feels good to say no to family, jobs, and other things. In August, I was at the hospital putting a grown on to have Tubal ligation. I said no, walked out and never felt better.
ReplyDeleteTo Cindy,
ReplyDeleteI completely understand! Sometime we are faced with our own problems then having to take on others becomes stressful. It's always a good to step away from the drama as it's not worth it.
To Karen,
ReplyDeleteYou only need to be your own superhero. Sometime we can't be everywhere at once and there is no need to make yourself available at all times. But I do understand that feeling though lol.
To Life Is A SandCastle,
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I'm glad that everything worked out for you as (no) can be your friend. I know it's a hard word but it's also a lifesaver.
Thank you for writing this. I hate feeling guilty all the time and obligated to go to everything. It's a good reminder to say No sometimes!
ReplyDeleteThis is great advice. Sometimes saying "yes" is easier than saying "no," but we have to put our foot down or we are going to burn out fast. I have burned out before and it is no party. We can absolutely go crazy if we burn out and then nobody wants to be around us!!!!! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteheidibokor @ yahoo . com
I went on strike.
ReplyDeleteWORKS FOR ME! lol